


Dear God

by zozobird



Category: Original Work
Genre: Kind of personal, Poetry, but i wanted to share, i think???, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-27 02:45:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18295268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zozobird/pseuds/zozobird
Summary: This is the result of me venting after a pretty shitty day. It took a few days to write out completely, and any notes/reviews would be great.





	Dear God

 

 

    Should I ever die and you come to judge me,

    know that I will not sit back,

    I will not bow my head in reverence,

    and I will not seek your "forgiveness".

    

    I will stare into your blank eyes

    You will see my frustration, my pain. My passionate anger.

    Bubbling, boiling under the lid you tried to cripple my brain with.

    

    You will see it, and you won't care.

    Because you can't  _feel_  it.

    You're not human.

    You don't share in our pain-in our joy.

    

    You cursed us with the intensity of our emotions

    and then you punish us for when their shrieking is so loud that acting on them is the only way to shut them up.

    

    You commend us as your "perfect" creations

    Then-in the same breath-condemn us for the flaws  _you_  put there.

    

    You will see these emotions swirling in my eyes

    and I will see nothing in yours.

    

    And as you continue to judge me,

    I will pull my fist as far back as it can go

    then, I will let it go.

    

    I won't be able to touch you-you've already cast me out.

    But I will laugh as I fall into the pits.

    I'll smile as the fire slowly turns my skin to ash and my bones turn to charcoal.

    For now, the last you'll see of me is my teeth bearing in a feral grin as my body is swallowed by the lake of fire.

    

    I will be back.

    Clawing up the fire and brimstone for all eternity if I have to.

    To try and seek some shallow retribution for myself and those around me.

    

    Should I ever tire on my journey,

    I will picture deep, soulful eyes looking at me with so much fear, so much trust.

    Believing that I can help-that I can save them.

    I will remember the agony and desperation of wishing I could change the past to prevent this heartbreak.

    The soul-crushing sadness that enveloped my existence like a stifling cocoon

    that only broke when rage would briefly cut through the walls before quickly being extinguished.

    

    I will remember seeing pillars-that once stood do strong, so sure-crack and begin to crumble.

    Taking everything nearby with them.

    I will remember your apathetic eyes.

    And I will keep going.

    Fueled by your indifference to prove that I  _care_  more than you  _pretend_  to.

    

    And if I can rally those trapped with me-

    rally against the unfairness, the mistreatment, the injustice--

    against  _you_ ,

    then we'll share our sadness, our bitterness, our barely there hope.

    And we will continue on.

    

    If I can't, then so be it.

    I will go on my own.

    One day, I will see you again.

    

    You may or may not recognize me when that day comes-I don't care.

    

    You will still look the same.

    I won't.

    My goal is still the same, though.

    

    And I will succeed.

    

    It won't hurt you-you're too "powerful".

    But it will shock both you and everyone around you.

    

    And as you cast me down once again-deeper this time-

    My laugh will ring in your ears-in everyone's ears.

    My satisfied smile and rage-filled eyes will burn into your memory.

    The feeling of my fist will imprint itself on your body.

    You will remember me.

    

    I  _will_  be back; again and again and again.

    Sometimes with others

    sometimes by myself.

    

    There will be times when I can't get close.

    And other times where I'll miss.

    But I won't stop trying.

    Even if it takes a million lifetimes.

    

    I won't stop until I see something in your indifferent gaze.

    Not until I see you experiencing the pain you put us through.

    Only then, will I stop.

    

    But, if you ever forget, I'll return.

    To show you what it's almost like being a human.


End file.
